


A 100d Lesson in Alternian Poetry

by buttmaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 04:42:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2256282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bonus Round 3 fill for the HSWC. </p><p>"Equius/Dirk</p><p>What happens when two shade wearing MCs face off in the most horse dong-metaphor filled rap battle in history? Everyone gets uncomfortable, obviously."</p>
            </blockquote>





	A 100d Lesson in Alternian Poetry

CT: D --> I don't know  
CT: D --> The other Strider suggested we do this activity  
CT: D --> I recall it not going well  
TT: Don't worry about that. I am, we'll say, a bit more comfortable around your preferred topics.  
TT: I've heard you have talent. I would like to see it for myself.  
CT: D --> I'm still uncertain  
CT: D --> I think I'd rather not  
TT: We're doing it, Equius.  
TT: We're making it happen.  
CT: D --> Are you commanding me  
TT: Are you making me command you?  
CT: D --> Just answer the question  
TT: So now you're basically commanding me to command you. You're so fucked up. Whatever. I'm starting. Feel free to join in.  
TT: Get out the stopwatches and hands off the crotches.  
TT: Got you sweating, got you breaking out in blue blotches.  
TT: Watch or you'll miss it, the battle over in a flash.  
TT: 'Cause I rap fast, rainboom blast, call me Rainbow Dash.  
TT: And you get the shaft, and your temper is flared up.  
TT: Unsheathed, but your tongue is in tangles, you're snared up.  
TT: I'm the prince and I'm valiant, you drink milk by the gallon.  
TT: But if you look, it's no mare that you milk but a stallion.  
CT: D --> I didn't want to do this.  
CT: D --> To come off so brutish.  
CT: D --> You rap like a grub, and your words are so prudish.  
CT: D --> You have yet to plumb the depths at length.  
CT: D --> To show even just a little bit of STRENGTH.  
CT: D --> Are you showing restrain, are you trained, are you reined in?  
CT: D --> Ignorant on the topi% yet you insist on explaining.  
CT: D --> You're inferior, your motives ulterior.  
CT: D --> To make a foal of me, but I'll make a mare of your interior.  
CT: D --> I am your superior, you musclebeast posterior.  
CT: D --> Oh, wait, that's where all the best parts are.  
CT: D --> STRONG haunches for launches, and acts the most raunchest.  
CT: D --> My flow is the staunchest  
TT: Time's up, Zahhak, you're bad and you're draggin'.  
TT: Worn out the welcome wagon, so say hi to the party cannon.  
TT: A pony party to the face with enough velocity to blind.  
TT: You've got nerves like Fluttershy but I won't treat you kind.  
TT: Leave rap, go back to robots, don't you have some metal to be welding?  
TT: If you stay here against me you will wind up a gelding.  
CT: D --> How dare you  
CT: D --> To bring up such crimes z001ogical  
CT: D --> You're wrong, you're awful, you're just plan illogical  
CT: D --> Respect the elegance of the member most tremulous  
CT: D --> Such recklessness and petulance, show gentleness and reverence  
CT: D --> To the sac swaying pendulous, clean of detritus  
CT: D --> I suggest you make an exodus  
CT: D --> I think I need a towel, Dirk  
CT: D --> I am feeling  
CT: D --> Worked up  
TT: Uh, yeah. I am going to go. Take care of some... pressing manners. But, yes. Good job. Okay. Go towel off.


End file.
